Comments (9)

By shannon, March 4, 2010 11:50 am

The scene:  A lab

The players:  Me, Phlebotomist (herein referred to as “Moron”), and a Supervisor

The Time:  9:14am

As part of my recent fertility consultation, I was instructed to have a blood test to determine if I carried the gene for Cystic Fibrosis.  Since I am due for my regular A1c draw, I figured I’d kill two birds with one stone (I hate that expression – who actually kills a bird with a stone?).

I walked into the lab, signed in, and sat down.  I always dread having blood drawn because I know that the inevitable battle will begin. 

<digression> Since my very first blood draw (that I can remember), I’d pass out.  Faint.  Hit-the-deck.  A few years ago, I had a very nice phlebotomist tell me that I have extremely small veins and that when having my blood drawn, I should always request a butterfly.  From that moment on, I never passed out again (as long as a butterfly is used).  I know some of you will think that this is a psychological problem, but I can prove that it’s not. 

Once, I requested a butterfly, and the phlebotomist agreed to use it.  Since I never watch the actual blood draw, I assumed that the prick I felt was the agreed-upon butterfly.  After a few seconds, I started to get that feeling.  The one where you see little black dots, begin sweating, and feeling very, very tired.  The next thing I knew, I was waking up on the floor.  She helped me back into the chair.  I apologized for fainting and said how strange it was because I NEVER faint when a butterfly is used.  She shrugged and turned away.

That’s when I saw it.  She didn’t use a butterfly.  When I asked her about it, she claimed to have “forgotten” that I requested one.  Bitch. </digression>

Anyway, back to today.

After 15 minutes, my name was finally called.  I handed moron the lab slips and my insurance card.  She instructed me to have a seat in Room 2 across the hall.  I did.  She came into the room and began entering all of the required information into her computer.  I waited.  Finally, she spoke:

Moron:  Oh, I see it was your birthday.  Happy belated birthday.

Me:  Thanks! (thinking this draw is going to be cake!  She’s actually nice)

Me:  As you can see, I’ve got two different lab slips from two different doctors.  Is it possible to send the results of my A1c to both doctors?

Moron:  (grabbing a clipboard with a release form) Sure.  You just have to sign this release, and we can send it to anyone.

Me:  Great, thanks.  I also have one more request.  When you draw my blood, can you please use a butterfly?  Otherwise, I’ll pass out.

Moron:  (looking at me like *I’m* a moron) I’ll need to look at your arm first because we don’t use butterflies on everyone.  What’s the big deal, anyway?  A needle is a needle.

Me:  Look, I’m not afraid of needles.  I’m a type 1 diabetic, so I’m pretty used to needles.  My issue is that my veins are really small, and with the bigger needle, the blood comes out too fast and causes my blood pressure to drop until I pass out.  Every time I’ve had my blood drawn here, they’ve used a butterfly.

Moron:  Well, I’ll have to look at your arms first. (indicating that she wasn’t going to use a butterfly unless hell froze over first)

Me: (really pissed off) Fine, but don’t be surprised when I pass out.

Moron spent the next 35 minutes trying to get the paperwork straightened out.  I repeated my original instructions that Dr. T. also gets a copy of my A1c.  Moron set up the paperwork to give Dr. S. the results of the CF screen.  Hence, the moniker, moron.

Finally, she wraps the rubber band around my arm and tells me to make a fist.  She pokes my veins to find her target.  Knowing what’s coming, I look away.  I felt the needle prick, and, at first, I felt ok.  I thought that maybe she’d listened to me and used a butterfly.  But, I started to feel that all-too-familiar sensation.  The last thing I heard was her clicking off the first vial and grabbing another. 

I came to on the floor.  Moron had called for backup.  They helped me back into the chair, gave me some juice, and waited.  After 10 minutes, Moron came back into the room with Supervisor. 

Supervisor: (taking one look at my arm) Her veins are tiny.  You should have used a butterfly on her.

Me:  I asked for a butterfly, but she refused.

Supervisor:  I’ll take it from here.  Unfortunately, she wasn’t able to get both vials before you passed out, so I’m going to have to prick you again.

Me:  You can prick me all day as long as you use a butterfly.  I wasn’t being a baby – this is just how it is. 

Supervisor: (after the blood draw was done) You’re all set.  You can wait here for a few minutes if you need to. 

Me:  (having already spent over an hour in the lab) I’m fine.  I really need to get to work.  I would appreciate it if you’d have a talk with moron about listening to patients.  This entire scenario could have been avoided if she’d just listened to me.

Supervisor:  I intend to.  We don’t like it when you faint any more than you do.

Me:  Thanks.

Comments (10)

By shannon, February 5, 2010 9:13 am

Oh, Oprah, you had an amazing opportunity to do a show on diabetes. It could have been well-researched, with experts in endocrinology providing accurate information and dispelling the many myths that are floating around. You could have had CDEs and representatives of ALL types of diabetes.

Instead, you chose to have (your fellow cash cow) buddy, Dr. Oz, confront a room full of overweight, Type 2 diabetics, telling them that their lifestyle is to blame. Where was the discussion of genetics?Oh, that’s right. Dr. Oz said Type 1 was genetic. He also said a person is born with Type 1. And that the amount of insulin a person takes is an indication of how bad their diabetes is. All untrue.

But, what really pissed me off was the blatant exploitation of Laureen. You were doing a show about Type 2 diabetes (because they’re the majority, after all), but to really scare the shit out of everyone, you send Dr. Oz to visit Laureen in the hospital. You show graphic images of the absolute horror that diabetes has done to her body. She obliges by breaking down and sobbing accordingly. Then, as an afterthought, you make the distinction that Laureen is a Type 1. Why was she your example? Couldn’t you find a Type 2 to exploit?

7.4 million people watch your show every day. Many of them take your word as gospel. If you’d taken just a few hours  and actually researched the different types (yes, there are more than two) of diabetes (or actually read the email I sent you weeks BEFORE the show), you would have presented a show that was truly groundbreaking. Instead, it was a joke.

There are many in the diabetes community who have spent years trying to raise awareness of Type 1 diabetes, its cause, its treatment, and the fact that it is not preventable or curable. You set us back years.

So, thanks Oprah.  Your shoddy research and irresponsible reporting did more harm than good.

Comments (6)

By shannon, January 22, 2010 10:44 am

This blog has been cooking for a while.  It’s not diabetes related AT ALL, so if you’re waiting for the tie-in, it’s not happening.

I’ve never made any secret of the fact that I’m a fiscal conservative.  Since I was old enough to vote, I’ve voted Republican.  It’s not that I’m against Democrats; it’s just that my views aligned more with Republicans.  I do not want the government involved in any aspect of my personal life, as long as I obey the law.  They should have no say in who I am, who I love, and what I do to my own body.  They can’t tell me what to wear, where to work, or what to write.  

My reasons for being a registered Republican were always related to matters of money.  My husband and I make fairly decent money.  We’ve both worked extremely hard to advance our careers and earn enough cash to live comfortably.  What I do not like is when the government takes that money and gives it to people who have neither the drive nor the desire to better their lives.  I fully support helping those in need, but I cannot condone laziness or greed.

I believe in a small government.  I believe in capitalism.  I do not support socialism in any form.  Any time government size is increased, freedom is sacrificed.  This belief in freedom was the hallmark of the Republican Party.  Until recently.

Over the past decade or so, the Republican Party has lost touch with its core principles.  The “Religious Right” has taken over and turned it into something it used to be so vehemently against:  unconstitutional.

The First Amendment specifically addresses the rights of religious freedom.  This includes the right to practice no religion at all.  Obviously, this is a biggie – it’s THE FIRST AMENDMENT. 

Thomas Jefferson wrote it best:

Believing with you that religion is a matter which lies solely between Man & his God, that he owes account to none other for his faith or his worship, that the legitimate powers of government reach actions only, & not opinions, I contemplate with sovereign reverence that act of the whole American people which declared that their legislature should “make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof,” thus building a wall of separation between Church & State.

So, why is it that conservatives today feel so strongly that religion has a place in government?  

Yesterday, I got sucked into a debate on foxnews.com (yes, I watch and read Fox News) regarding Cindy McCain’s recent photographic support of gay marriage.  While I’m not gay, I strongly believe that homosexuality isn’t a choice.  After all, why would anyone choose to be subjected to the kind of ridicule and discrimination that gays and lesbians face on a daily basis?  However, even if it was a choice, the government has no LEGAL basis to oppose the LEGAL joining of two people.  

Most of the forum posters were staunchly religious and felt that homosexuality is in direct violation of God’s word.  They base this argument on the bible (i.e., a collection of STORIES that contradicts itself with regularity and has been so mangled by translation that it makes little sense).  They argue that the bible is some sort of moral code that must be followed and enforced by the government.  Obviously, this is in direct violation of the First Amendment.

So, I calmly and rationally attempted to explain this in a well-crafted response.  Instead of being even remotely amenable to the concept, the responses consisted mostly of various bible verses.  WTF, Republicans? 

So, from here on out, I am a Libertarian.  I will no longer vote for or support a party that has strayed so far from its core values and become nothing more than a bully, Sunday morning preacher, spewing fire and brimstone nonsense.

Wake up conservatives.  You lost the last election because of this religious nonsense, and if it continues, you’ll lose more and more votes.  This is not Colonial America, and we are not Puritans.  We are the United States of America, and if you’re unclear about what that means, I suggest you give the Constitution a thorough read.

Comments (1)

By shannon, December 28, 2009 11:08 am

It’s been a few days, and I’m feeling the need for a good, old-fashioned rant.  So, here it is . . .

In roughly two weeks, I’ll be flying down to Florida.  This will be my first flight in a while, and I’m not looking forward to it.  I’m a bit of a nervous flyer; I usually take Xanax to help keep me calm.  It helps, but I still don’t like it.  But, since I’m trying to get pregnant, Xanax is out of the question.  I’m going to have to find another way to endure.

So, when I heard about this dickhead “terrorist” who attempted (in the name of religion – ugh!) to blow up a plane headed to Detroit, I got angry.  Why (WHY!) is it necessary to do these things? 

So now, because of this pathetic asshole, we’re going to be restricted to our seats for the entire last hour of each flight.  And during that last hour, all reading material, electronic devices, and anything else that we use to distract ourselves will be banned.  We’re going to have to sit there and think about all the things that could go wrong.  

And what about all of the tools I need to manage my diabetes?  Is a Glucagon kit going to be a red flag now?  It’s a powder that is activated with a syringe full of liquid.  And what happens if I have to test my BG or bolus during that last hour of the flight?  Or, what if I go low and need to eat or drink something?  Then, there are all of the d-related supplies that I carry when I travel.  I’m going to have vials, needles, extra Pods, and other things.  Am I going to have to struggle to take them onboard?  All because one selfish fuck decided to try to blow up a plane full of people. 

So, whether it was his mission or not, this jerk managed to accomplish something.  He’s made flying that much less enjoyable for us all.  I hope he rots in prison until he dies, then rots in hell forever.

Comments (0)

By shannon, December 9, 2009 1:58 pm

Why are you bothering me with your stupid spam?  You’ll never make it through the moderation process, so just fuck off.

kthanksbye!

Comments (4)

By shannon, December 8, 2009 9:06 am

Last Friday, I wrote a quick tweet and facebook status message about my intent to give up caffeine.  It’s something I’ve wanted to do for a long time, both for better health, and in preparation for pregnancy.  

When I told Brian my plan, he asked me why I wanted to do this now. There was nothing discouraging in his query, just curiosity.  I thought long and hard about my many reasons, but it really comes down to one:

I know that the 1^st trimester of pregnancy is hard.  I can expect morning sickness, exhaustion, headaches, and other not-so-fun symptoms.  Why would I want to add caffeine withdrawal to that list?  

I’m a realist, and I know there’s a possibility that I’ll never conceive, but just in case I do, I want to avoid as much unpleasantness as I can.

So, on Saturday morning, while Brian gulped his normal three cups of java, I slowly sipped my new strawberry blooming tea.  It’s not only yummy, it’s also pretty (oh, how I love pretty things!).  I steeped the same tea four or five times, and each time, it tasted as good as the first.  

Now, it’s Tuesday, and I’d give my right arm for a cup of coffee.  I’m resisting, but it’s really, really hard.  I can smell it throughout the office, I can taste it when Brian kisses me goodbye, I can almost feel the caffeine running through my co-workers veins.  Almost.

I’ll be strong and get through this withdrawal.  I’ve got my tea.

Comments (0)

By shannon, December 4, 2009 11:34 am

Now that I’m on the mend and feeling tons better, I wanted to write about something near and dear to my heart.  As I’ve mentioned previously, my sister, Lisa, has been battling breast cancer for quite a while.  What I haven’t explained is the history or severity of her illness.

At the age of 31, Lisa felt a small lump on her breast during a routine self-exam (something all of you ladies better be doing!).  Naturally, we didn’t think much of it – she was only 31 after all.  But, with a history of breast cancer in our family (my grandmother lost her battle over a decade ago), Lisa saw a doctor immediately.  A mammogram, ultrasound, and eventual biopsy confirmed a diagnosis of breast cancer.

She underwent a lumpectomy, chemotherapy, and radiation.  It was a hard road, but she fought it like a champ.  After her treatments were finished, she was pronounced cancer-free, each year celebrating a Cancerversary.  

Just before her five year celebration, she felt a small bump on her clavicle.  None of us really thought it could be cancer; she’d had regular check-ups every six months, which included PET scans and bloodwork.  So how could it come back so quickly?

But, it did.  More surgery, biopsy, and PET and bone scans confirmed a diagnosis of metastatic breast cancer.  The dreaded Stage IV.  I couldn’t believe it.  Sometimes, I still can’t.  I keep expecting the doctors to say “whoops, we made a mistake – it’s not cancer.”  Unfortunately, that’s not going to happen.

Lisa’s most recent tests show lots of progression to her bones and, now, her liver.  She’ll be starting a more aggressive chemo regimen ASAP, which will (hopefully) keep the cancer at bay for a while.  She’s got a great attitude about it all (far better than the rest of us), and she’ll fight as long and as hard as she can.  She recently (along with my mom) moved to Destin, FL.  A warmer climate is just what the doctor ordered.

Some days it absolutely breaks my heart to watch my only sibling go through such pain.  It’s not fair, and for some, a Stage IV diagnosis is preventable.  How?  By getting regular mammograms. 

<stepping onto soapbox for a moment>

The U.S. Preventive Services Task Force recently published new guidelines that consider annual mammogram screenings for women under 50 unnecessary.  This is not only wrong, it is also incredibly irresponsible.  There is a very common misconception that young women don’t get breast cancer.  These guidelines only perpetuate that misconception.  And it pisses me off.   Young women get breast cancer everyday.

I’m 35 and have been getting a mammogram every year since I was 28.  I’m lucky that I’ve got an OB/GYN who believes in “better safe than sorry.”  But, if these guidelines are adopted as a standard practice (especially in government-run healthcare), we’re going to see an increase in Stage IV diagnoses.  That is unacceptable.

So, I’d like to offer a great, big LADAdeeda “Fuck You” to the U.S. Preventive Services Task Force.  I dearly hope none of you ever has to watch someone you love (who is also under 50) fight breast cancer.

<stepping off soapbox>

Comments (5)

By shannon, November 19, 2009 2:06 pm

Dear Insulin Pump/Glucose Meter/CGM Manufacturers,

First, let me tell you how much I love your products.  I’m a big geek, who actually gets excited at the prospect of new diabetes technology.  When I get a new meter, it’s like my birthday.  CGM arrival day is like Christmas.  And, well, new pump day?  That only happens once every four years, so I can’t even compare it to any other day.  I don’t know what it is about new tech gadgets that gets me so excited.  It’s just all so shiny and new and wonderful.

Until I look at the minimum requirements for using your software.  Why-oh-why won’t any of you support Mac OS? Imagine my disappointment when, after carefully unboxing my new Accu-Check Compact Plus meter, I found that in order to use the software, I had to use Windows.  Windows!?!  

What is it?  Did Apple beat you up in grade school?  Did they steal your college girlfriend?  Did they get you fired?  Seriously.  What is it?

Because, when/if one of you guys ever steps up and makes Mac-friendly software, I’ll be first in line to give it a try.  Hell, I’ll even beta test it for you!  Just.  Make.  Something.

kthanksbye,

Shannon

Comments (1)

By shannon, November 19, 2009 10:21 am

Since it’s a day that ends in “y,” I’ve got the urge to rant about something.  

Last night, Brian and I decided to go out for dinner.  This is not abnormal for us – we eat out at least twice per week.  It’s gotten a little more difficult with my foray into Weight Watchers land, but it’s something we really enjoy, and I can make it work.

So, we arrived at the restaurant around 7:00 pm.  We were led to one of those mini booths (you know the ones that are half the size of a “real” booth).  Directly across from our booth, a group of tables was arranged to accommodate a party of six adults and (at least) six children (ages ~5-10).  The adults sat at one end, the kids at the other. 

As soon as we sat down, we noticed the noise.  A simple conversation between us was impossible because the children were yelling and screaming at a pretty consistent level.  I kept expecting the parents to settle the rowdy group down, but instead, they ordered more drinks (beer and wine) for themselves.  The kids were running around the tables with forks and knives in their hands, climbing over furniture, and disrupting the meals of everyone in the general vicinity of their table.  And isn’t 7:30 pm on a school night a little late for dinner?  Don’t these kids have bedtimes?  For all of this, I blame the parents.

After 15 minutes of this craziness, I asked (by yelling) Brian what he wanted to do.  He yelled back that he thought we should try to get another table.  Since our server hadn’t even taken our drink order (something else that drives me crazy – it had been 15 minutes!), we figured it wouldn’t be a problem to move to another part of the restaurant.  

Brian walked over to the hostess station and waited.  And waited.  He stood there for a full five minutes before a server (not the hostess) came over to see what he needed.  The server must have told the hostess because she finally came to speak with us.  She had to get up close to my ear to (rudely) tell me that there were no additional tables available.  I told her that since our server hadn’t bothered to take our order after 15 minutes, and we’d be forced to eat our dinner in a playground, we’d be leaving.  I’m sure she called me some colorful names after we left, but I really don’t care.

What is it with parents these days?  Seriously, I can’t go to a store or restaurant or even a doctor’s office without seeing (and hearing) unruly children.  I really don’t understand.  Do they think that their kids will like them better if they offer no discipline?  They’re so wrong.  Not only will the kids ultimately resent the lack of boundaries, they’ll also have absolutely no respect for their parents. 

It really makes me sad because I know that deep down, these are probably good kids.  They’re just being raised poorly.  When (if) I’m a parent, my children will know that certain behavior is acceptable at certain times and places.  They will be loved and cherished, but they’ll also be taught.  If we’re at Chuck E Cheese or some other kid’s restaurant, then rowdy behavior is appropriate.  But, if we’re at a regular restaurant (or grocery store or doctor’s office, etc.), where adults are trying to have a quiet dinner after a long day at work, we will be considerate of them.  It’s not mean or unfair, it’s just good manners and children need to learn them.

The bottom line is that parents have to stop trying to be their kids’ friends.  That is not your role in your child’s life.  It is your responsibility to ensure that your children know right from wrong and good from bad.  Teach them that although they are the center of *your* world, they’re not the center of *the* world.  You can love and nurture your kids without letting them get away with murder.  Yes, it takes a lot more work, and consistency is essential.  But remember, your kids don’t want or need a friend in you; they want and need a parent.  They will respect and love you more for it in the end.