Comments (14)

By shannon, February 3, 2010 2:20 pm

In an attempt to come to terms with our situation and to be proactive in finding an alternative, I began researching adoption. 

Adoption scares the hell out of me.  Maybe it’s the horror stories I’ve read about birth mothers changing minds, or learning that a child has been severely abused prior to adoption, or even the enormous costs associated with the adoptive process.  I don’t know what it is, but I’m afraid.

But, since Brian and I are two good people who could provide a stable and loving environment to a child, I am willing to give it a try.  Or at least I was. 

As I spent hours reading about the adoption process, I learned a thing or three:

Adopting a child through the state is going to be a challenge.  I know that there are lots of older kids out there who need homes, but given my trepidation about it all, I really want to adopt an infant.  I want the opportunity to help shape a child and teach him or her right from wrong.  I fear that many older children have already been defined by their experiences, and while they deserve no less than a loving home, I am not prepared to undo any damage that has occurred. 

Adopting a child through a private agency (via an adoption attorney) is going to be expensive.  Probably more expensive than Brian and I could afford.  While this is the scenario most likely to provide us with an infant, it is the one that’s going to be the most difficult to pursue.   Moreover, since the process usually begins before the child is born, the chance of the birth mother changing her mind is real.

Adopting a child internationally is going to be nearly impossible.  I located a very reputable agency that handles international adoptions on a regular basis.  They have a list of countries that they work with (China, Russia, Bulgaria, Columbia, etc.), as well as the criteria that potential adoptive parents are required to meet.  On nearly every one, there is the following requirement:

No current medical conditions, chronic illnesses, infectious diseases, or severe deformities of applicants.

So, does this mean that as a Type 1 diabetic, which is a chronic condition, I am excluded as a potential parent?  I fired off an email to the agency to get the bottom line, but I have an awful feeling about it.

If anyone has any positive (and recent) adoption experiences to share, please do so.  If you know of reputable agencies or attorneys, please share that info, as well.  We’re really starting from scratch here, and it’s hard to separate fact from fiction.